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九月九日憶山東兄弟古詩英文翻譯
《九月九日憶山東兄弟》是王維的詩作。王維這首《九月九日憶山東兄弟》詩載于《全唐詩》卷一百二十八。
九月九日憶山東兄弟
[唐]王維
獨在異鄉(xiāng)為異客,
每逢佳節(jié)倍思親。
遙知兄弟登高 處,
遍插茱萸少一人。
淺析六版本《九月九日憶山東兄弟》英譯
譯文一(王寶童,上海世圖2005版《王維百首(漢英對照圖文本)》):
On Double Ninth Day Thinking of My Brothers at Home
A lonely stranger in a strange land I’m cast,
Sore sick for my dears on every festive day.
By now my brothers must some heights have passed,
But a cornel wearer missing’ll damp the day.
第二行的sore sick是英文中不存在的表達(dá),就像漢語沒有“酸病”一樣。根據(jù)Cambridge Advanced Learners’ Dictionary& Thesaurus, dear的名詞含義有兩個: [C usually singular] informal a kind person和[as form of address] used to address someone you love or are being friendly to, not used between men。如此看來,譯文這樣用dears是不對的。第三行的pass意為“經(jīng)過”,不一定是“登高”。最后一句的missing指人時是“失蹤”的意思,用在這里顯然不合適。damp the play既非英文固定表達(dá),又不易從字面推斷想要表達(dá)的意思(把戲劇弄濕了?)。和前面的sore sick一樣,這也屬于譯者捏造英文表達(dá),對于英語母語者來說這樣的“創(chuàng)造”只會讓他們讀的一頭霧水。英文極嚴(yán)謹(jǐn),不能有任何偷懶和僥幸心理,尤其是嘗試少見搭配和比喻時,查證二字應(yīng)時刻謹(jǐn)記。
譯文二(唐一鶴,天津人民出版社2005版《英譯唐300首》):
Reminiscent of My Brothers in Puzhou to the east of Huashan on the Double Ninth Festival
Being a stranger alone in a strange land,
I miss my dear ones on everyhappy festival with a heavy mind.
I know from afar the heights where my brothers have ascended,
With dogwoods on their heads but without me accompanied.
題目中的reminiscent of意為某件東西或某人讓人想起了與之有關(guān)聯(lián)或相似性的另一件東西或另一個人,比如:This fragrance is reminiscent of fresh flowers. (McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs)。譯文最大的問題是后兩句,譯回中文就成了:我在遙遠(yuǎn)的地方知道我的兄弟們戴著茱萸,在沒我陪伴的情況下登上的高地。作者知道的不是兄弟登高的行為,而成了他們登高的地點。最后的without me accompanied也是錯誤的,應(yīng)為without me accompanying them,因為“伴隨”是我主動做出的動作。
譯文三(陳君樸,上海大學(xué)出版社2005版《漢英對照唐絕句150首》):
Thinking of My Brothers in Shandong on the Double Ninth Festival
A stranger in a strange land on each holiday,
I think of my kinsmen with a double care.
I know when my brothers wear medicine bags,
At the heights, they would find one tospare.
根據(jù)Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary& Thesaurus,holiday意為:a time when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax或an official day when you do not have to go to work or school,可見,第一句中的holiday嚴(yán)格來說對應(yīng)的是假日,非節(jié)日。再看同一來源中festival的釋義:a special day or period, usually in memory of a religious event, with its own social activities, food or ceremonies。兩者比較,可見文中的佳節(jié)應(yīng)譯為festival。第二句中的with a double care應(yīng)為with double care。第三、四句中,譯者顯然是想說在兄弟們背上medicine bags的時候發(fā)現(xiàn)多了一個,這時“背”這個動作應(yīng)為shoulder,而非表結(jié)果的wear。最后一句的find one to spare意為medicine bag多了一個,暗含的意思是帶了足夠多的medicine bags,甚至有了富余,這和原文的“少一人”不同。多出的bag也可能是本來就帶多了。原文表述直接,譯文為押韻將其轉(zhuǎn)為間接表達(dá),但其中可能造成的誤解又沒有得到處理。最后,茱萸確有藥效,但詩人的兄弟們帶著茱萸不是去看病,這里強調(diào)其藥效有些奇怪。這里的medicine和上一行的care同時出現(xiàn)也會給讀者正確理解care造成一些干擾。
譯文四(Witter Bynner):
On the Mountain Holiday Thinking of my Brothers in Shandong
All alone in a foreign land,
I am twice as homesick on this day.
When brothers carry dogwood up the mountain,
Each of them a branch -- and my branch missing.
譯文標(biāo)題同樣使用了并不準(zhǔn)確的holiday。在正文中,譯者沒有譯出“佳節(jié)”和詩人與兄弟天各一方這層意思。第二行的homesick是想家,更多指對妻子、父母或子女的想念,用在思念兄弟的場合稍顯不當(dāng)。最后一句字面意思是我的dogwood不見了,和原文有出入。讀者估計也會困惑于什么是my branch。此外,譯文中的brothers前面少了my。
譯文五(許淵沖):
Thinking of my Brothers on Mountain Climbing Day
Alone, a lonely stranger in a foreign land,
I doubly pine for kinsfolk on a holiday.
I know my brothers would, with dogwoodspray in hand,
Climb up mountain and miss me so far away.
這一版本的譯文是本文列出的譯文中質(zhì)量最高的。第一句的alone和lonely對應(yīng)原文的兩個“異”字,第二行的doubly也準(zhǔn)確地翻譯出了“倍”。譯文存在的問題主要是為了和第一行的land押韻,把“插”譯成了“拿”,另外最后一句和原文相比過于直白了。這些都不是什么大問題。其他一些小問題包括kinfolk前應(yīng)有my,holiday用法不準(zhǔn)確,spray應(yīng)為sprays,以及mountain應(yīng)為mountains。
譯文六(豐華瞻):
Thinking of my Brothers on the Double Ninth Festival in the East of Mount Hua
All alone in a strange land,
How I long for my folks on this festiveday!
I imagine my brothers climb up a hill,dogwood on heads,
And all except me merrily go their way.
譯文的問題集中在第三、四句。首先,imagine的賓語所做的動作應(yīng)為動詞ing形式,即應(yīng)為I imagine my brothers climbing up a hill。其次,最后一句展現(xiàn)了一幅喜悅的場景,與原詩傷感的氛圍背道而馳。原文并不晦澀,譯者能譯出這樣不著邊際的文字讓人費解。
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